She criticizes the way in which "love" is used in today's society: for example, we use the word without much meaning, when referring to how much we like or enjoy our favorite ice cream, color, or game.Hooks is very disturbed by the fact that our culture has lost the true meaning of love, and believes it is because we have no shared definition.
These aspects are affection, respect, recognition, commitment, trust, care, and open and honest communication - rather than the customary forms stemming from gender stereotypes, domination, control, ego and aggression.
Please help by adding secondary or tertiary sources.
These unfair expectations lead boys and girls to grow up into men and women who are convinced that lies are the way to go, and no one should be showing their truest feelings to each other.
This leads to the paradox hooks points out, because honesty is a natural requirement for a functional and healthy loving relationship.
Overall, this book sheds some light on what hooks sees as the modern day abandonment of love and what it means for people of today to experience love.
One argument she proposes is that love cannot exist in the middle of a power struggle.In hooks's own words, "Lies may make people feel better, but they do not help them to know love".Another central argument is that it is almost impossible for women to find happiness in what she sees as a brutal culture where men are taught to worry more about sexual satisfaction and performance than actually loving someone.Hooks also points out what she sees to be the roots of the problems regarding modern day love: gender stereotypes, domination, control, ego, and aggression (Nonfiction Book Review).Hooks also discusses is the way, starting from a very young age, boys and girls are constantly being knocked down and told to fit into the tiny boxes of characteristics that are expected of them.She focuses on romantic love and believes that in American culture men have been socialized to mistrust the value and power of love while women have been socialized to be loving in most situations – even when their need to receive love goes unmet. First she explains her position and introduces an external work which is primarily about that aspect of love.Then she provides suggestions on how to reverse our cultural training and become more open to giving and receiving love.All About Love: New Visions is a book by bell hooks published in 2000 that discusses aspects of love in modern society.Hooks combines personal anecdotes as well as psychological and philosophical ideas to develop and strengthen her argument.Hooks points out that the boy is denied his right to show, or even have, any true feelings.To further explain, she uses men in the American culture as an example, and describes how they have been socialized to mistrust the value and power of love, while the girl is taught that the most important thing she can do is change herself and her own feelings, with the hopes of attracting and pleasing everyone else.