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Here’s an actual essay written for the University of Chicago by Jacqueline Kwon.It was based on a prompt asking students to write their own prompt and then answer it. A: A manicured green field of grass blades cut to perfectly matched lengths; a blue expanse ornamented with puffy cotton clouds; an immaculately painted red barn centered exactly at the top of a hill--the chicken gazes contentedly at his picturesque world.Otherwise, I am as cruel as the man in the plaid shirt, taking away the opportunity to overcome ignorance. Keep reading to find out why I liked this essay so much.
The chicken moves towards the light to tacitly inform the man of his mistake.
But then the chicken notices a jagged gray line on the otherwise flawless egg.
Once it regains its breath, it moves a few inches onto the asphalt. In a nearby tree, the chicken spots two adult birds tending to a nest of babies--a natural dynamic of individuals unaltered by corrupt influence. It has escaped from a contrived and perverted domain as well as its own unawareness; it has arrived in a place where the pure order of the world reigns.
“I know the truth now,” it thinks to himself as the sun rises. Back home, I need to try to foster awareness among my friends, share this understanding with them. --- COMMENTARY (from Ethan, the College Essay Guy) Pretty great, huh?
It wants to urge them to open their eyes, to see what they are sacrificing for materialistic pleasures, but he knows they will not surrender the false reality. The chicken stands at the line between green grass and black gravel. For what seems like forever, it continues forward, as the black sky turns to purple, then blue, then pink.
As it prepares to take its first step into the unknown, a monstrous vehicle with 18 wheels made of metal whizzes by, leaving behind a trail of gray exhaust. Just as the chicken begins to regret its journey, the grass gives way to a vast landscape of trees, bushes, flowers--heterogeneous and variable, but nonetheless perfect.Do you think that’s what an admissions committee really wants to hear? We didn’t really care about what the student had read, but rather how that book shaped the person they’d become. She wrote about how at times even during her teenage years she would ask her Dad to come in and read to her.If I need book recommendations I have plenty of resources (and friends who know my reading tastes! There was one response to the question that stood out far and above the other ten thousand or so. She wrote about how it made her feel safe and loved.Musician’s Friend offers high quality music tools and accessories by showcasing top brands in the market.Among the leading brands that they offer is Xotic Effects, which specializes in guitar effects boosters and pedals.She wrote about how it made her realize what sacrifice looked like and that among the best things parents can give children is their time.RELATED: What to Put in Your 500 Word Application Essay She explained how it shaped her values and how she envisioned herself as a parent someday. I wish I had thought to copy and keep the application essay itself.The curious chicken quickly shuffles to Mother Hen, who has just settled on to her throne of hay and is closing her eyes. Then the man reaches into the wooden coop, his back to the entrance. ” At its own cue, the chicken scurries towards the opening and exits unseen. Over the next several hours, it learns to strategically position itself so that it is in line with the empty space between the tires of passing trucks. A black blanket gradually pushes away the glowing sun and replaces it with diamond stars and a glowing crescent. With a deep breath, the chicken steps into the swathe, a world of tall beige grass made brown by the darkness.He is sure that the always composed and compassionate chicken will help him make sense of what he’s just seen. I-I just saw one of those eggs, cracking, and there was a small yellow bird inside. Are those eggs that the nice man takes away babies? With a backwards glance at his friends, the chicken feels a profound sadness and pity for their ignorance. Unsure of what it may discover, it determines to simply walk straight through the brush, out on to the other side.Within an area surrounded by a shiny silver fence, he looks around at his friends: roosters pecking at a feast of grains and hens lounging on luxurious cushions of hay.As the nice man in a plaid shirt and blue jeans collects the hens’ eggs, the chicken feels an overwhelming sense of indebtedness to him for providing this idyllic lifestyle.