Remember, there is no one correct way to say anything.
There is no one correct way to order or word your paper. And, in most cases, there is only one way to spell a given word!
In general, long quotes should be avoided unless they really add something to the discussion.
The phrase "quadrupole vibration modes" should probably be rephrased using less technical words.
Also notice that each new concept has at least one reference --- letting us know where they learned about it.
Unless the idea you are discussing is your own original research, you should reference the source where you obtained the information.gravwaves2This is a really good paper, so now lets trash it.Seriously, I though it would be helpful for you if you could see a critique of this paper so that you could more easily see some of the things that were done right and that were done wrong. It is well organized, focused, and well polished (i.e., good grammar, good spelling, transitions between different discussions, etc.).These are some of the better papers that have been handed in in past semesters.Note, however, that these papers are far from perfect.I'm really hoping that you will provide me with some better examples this semester!Also note that the style and formatting of these papers don't conform to the standards we are using this semester.A good one or two sentence thesis statement is needed before they end their introduction. "In this paper we will describe five types of gravitational wave sources: orbiting masses, coalescence, mass transfer, ..., as well as several proposed methods of gravity wave detection."Notice how the descriptions of the various means of generating gravity waves are presented in a nice orderly way. This part of the paper flows very well --- you learn a lot of information without expending much time or effort to read or understand it.Remember not to feel too bad if a fellow student, Writing Fellow, or professor has a large number of "negative" comments on a paper you think of as being nearly perfect. If you've never spent much time listening to the symphony, not only will you have a tough time playing classical music well, you probably will have a hard time even knowing if you sound well.Since the purpose of your paper is to convey information to other people, other people's opinions of your work matter!